Green jokes are sometimes funny! They may be offensive to some but fun for others.
Here are some Filipino sexy text messages. Sexy? Or maybe not. You decide.
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Matapos mag-sex sa motel...
BOYFRIEND: (nakangisi) How does it feel?
GIRLFRIEND: Anong sabi mo?
BOYFRIEND: Pa-cute ka pa eh tirik na tirik ang mga mata mo sa sex natin!
GIRLFRIEND: Tangek! Sumumpong na naman ang epilepsy ko, ‘no?!
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LALAKI: Okey ka! Ang sarap mo! Kaya lang, maluwang!
GRO: Ulol! Etits mo, maliit!
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7 klase ng pagtawa sa text:
Hahaha: manyakis
Hehehe: pakipot
Harhar: first timer
Bwahaha: palikero
Hihihi: inosenteng sanay
Hekhekhek: bitin palagi
Jejeje: virgin kaya maingat sa pagtawa
Hahaha! Este, jejeje!
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I can’t understand why penis is called BIRD, wala namang feathers. Why bayag is called EGG, hindi naman puwedeng ilaga.
And why vagina is called FLOWER...Sus! Ang layo ng amoy!
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Q: What’s the best and worst news a man might hear at the same time?
A: It’s when his girlfriend, wife or mistress says, “Ikaw talaga ang may pinakamalaking etits sa inyong magkakabarkada!”
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Sa impyerno, nakipag-sex ang isang babae sa isang demonyo.
Nagreklamo ang babae, “Wala bang mas malaki riyan?”
Sagot ng demonyo, “Hoy, iha! Nasa impyerno ka, wala sa langit! Tandaan mo ‘yan!”
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Ones I crush a boy from my alma mater who got my number so we could keep intact.
Sabi ko, “Connect me if I’m wrong, but are you asking me ouch?”
Sabi niya, “The?! I mean, tell me to the marines, ang kapal! The nerd!”
Naiyak ako because of hunger. I cried buckles of tears.
Tapos, sabi niya, “Don’t cry! Isipin mo na lang, this is a blessing in the sky.”
Irregardless of my feelings, let’s go ouch na rin.
Now we’re so in love. Mute and epidemic na ‘yung pass.
Thanks God we shallowed our fried.
Kasi, I’m 36 na and I’m running our time. After two weeks, he axed me if you marry me? Hay, talagang when it rains, it’s four!
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BOY: Please whisper those three little words that will make me walk on air.
GIRL: Go hang yourself.
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Sabi mo, nasaktan ka nang malaman mo na may mahal na akong iba.
Ako ba, tinanong mo kung nasaktan ako nu’ng mag-ovenight tayo sa Anito... kahit alam mong virgin pa ako?!
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I am not asking to be the most special person in your life. I am not asking for your full attention.
I am not asking you to care for me that much… basta makita lang kitang nakahubad, that’s enough for me!
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The man who goes to sleep with SEX in mind wakes up with the SOLUTION in hand.
This is called MANUAL INTERVENTION.
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An 80-year-old woman who posed nude at the Baguio Flower Festival contest won the 1st PRIZE in the category...
DRIED FLOWER ARRANGEMENT!
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Rapunzel... Cinderella... Sleeping Beauty...
All these women live happily ever after... until they discovered they are all married to the same man... Prince Charming.
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“Huwag mong isiping pangit ako… hindi mo kaya. Mapapagod ka lang.”
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KATHY: Ano ba ang nagustuhan mo sa boyfriend mong kundoktor?
ANGELA: Pabalik-balik siya at laging nakatayo!
Labels: Jokes
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