Three contractors are bidding to fix the White House fence.
One from the Philippines, another from Mexicoand an American.
They go with a White House official to examine the fence.
The American contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. Well," he says. "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
The Mexican contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
The Filipino contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers: "$2,700."
The official, incredulous, says, "What? You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure? How do you expect me to consider your service with that bid?
"Easy," the Pinoy explains, "$1,000 for you, $1,000 for me and we hire the guy from Mexico".
The next day, the Pinoy and the Mexican are working on the Fence.
****
Filipino Jokes
****
Q.What's the difference between corruption in the USand corruption in the
Philippines?
A. In the U.S.they go to jail. In the Philippines, they go to the U.S.
Q. What`s the difference among Philippine Presidents Cory, Gloria and Erap?
A. Cory can`t tell a lie
Gloria can`t tell the truth
Erap can`t tell the difference
REPORTER: Sir, kung wala po kayong evidence, witness or suspect ano na po ang next step ninyo?
Police: DNA na...
REPORTER: sir, ano po yung DNA?
Police: "Di Namin Alam "
"Naglalakad ang mag-ama, nakakita ng eroplano
ANAK: Tay! Krus! Ang laking krus!
TATAY(Binatukan ang anak): Nakita mo ng krus eh! Lumuhod tayo!"
bobo1: Pare, alam mo ba tawag sa paniki na mababa ang lipad?
bobo2: hindi eh! ano ba pare?
bobo1: Lowbat pare! Lowbat!
TEACHER: Anong similarity nina Jose Rizal, Andres Bonifacio, Ninoy Aquino at Apolinario Mabini?
STUDENT: Ma'am, pagkaka-alam ko po, silang lahat ay pinanganak ng holiday!
ERAP: Soli ko tong nabili kong DVD.
FPJ: Anong problema?
ERAP: Walang picture, tsaka sound. Sayang. Suspense thriller pa yata to.
Tsk, tsk...
FPJ: Anong title?
ERAP: "The Lens Cleaner"
PROMDI: Lam ko promdi lang ako kaya wag mo kong lolokohin! Bakit ganito ang
kwarto ko? Maliit, wala pang kamaat bintana..... ha?
ROOMBOY: Sir, nasa elevator pa lang po tayo...
Jun-Jun: Inay! Ako lang ang nakasagot sa tanong ng titser namin kanina!
Inay: Very good! Ano ba ang tanong ng titser ninyo?
Jun-Jun: "Sino ang walang assignment?"
Titser: Ano ang hugis ng mundo?
Juan: Kuwadrado po, maam!
Titser: Hindi! Ang mundo ay bilog.
Juan: Pero maam, sabi ng lolo ko, narating na niya ang APAT na sulok ng mundo. May sulok po ba ang bilog?
Boss asks sexy secretary to a dinner after overtime: Are you free tonight? The sexy secretary replies: Sir, ha... huwag naman, FREE... Bibigyan na lang kita ng discount!
Eliseo: Sobra na talaga ang katangahan ng kumare mo. Ang akala niya, ang LAWSUIT ay uniporme ng pulis!
Robert: Sus! Tanga nga! Eh di ba, uniporme ng abugado yun?
Don't forget to leave your comments below. If you want to read and laugh more, there are more jokes here.
1 Comments:
hahaha.. natawa ako dun sa DNA ah..kaya pala lagi yan sinasabi ng mga pulis eh.. lol!
galing..Lawsuit..
thanks for sharing. :]
April 23, 2008 3:51 PM
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